Brownies
by muerte'chan o.O
Summary: Matsumoto raids the 5th kitchens and finds Hitsugaya's sweet spot. Enticed by a box, Hitsugaya is lead astray from his paperwork and into the kitchens.


"Taicho!"

"Taichoo~oo!" She looked around the corner into his office, and there he sat, at his desk doing those silly reports.

"Aha! I found you!" Matsumoto was having one her unusually sober afternoons and she decided to have some fun. Nothing like drunk fun, of course not. Fun with the icy shotike-ki. _**(A/N shortcake)**_

Not even looking up from his work, Hitsugaya replied.

"If I had been hiding, I wouldn't have been in my office." Matsumoto giggled. Her captain was so funny!

"I know that, silly! I have a surprise for you!" She held her hands behind her back, her torso leaning forwards giving the 'icy shortcake' a full view. He looked up and was startled finding that she was rather close. Really close. She was ninja-quick and sneaky when she wanted to be. Otherwise you could hear her coming from across the barracks. She was heavy-footed and it probably had something to do with all the drinking…

Hitsugaya jumped up in surprise, and fell over backwards in his chair. Matsumoto leaned back up. It was rather funny, the sight in front of her. Her captain was lying on his back, feet in the air. The look on his face! It was scrunched up, like a little kid trying not to scream which was actually quite true. After a few moments he got up and fixed his chair. He stood behind his desk, his eyes closed in concentration.

"Matsumoto."

"Yes, shotike-ki-chan?"

"Don't call me that! It's Hitsugaya-Taicho to you!"

"Whatever. Do you want to know the surprise? It's a really good one…" He opened his eyes and looked at his flaky lieutenant. Her hands were still behind her back, and she was swaying her hips back and forth, her bottom lip sucked into her mouth. She looked really excited. Then she started to, _bounce._

"OK! Just, stop moving..." He turned his back to her, and pretended to look out the window.

"Taicho! Are you blushing? You are!"

"AM NOT!"

"Are too…" He started shaking, and his face turned redder when she laughed. He took a deep breath to calm himself down.

"OK. Just, tell me what it is."

"You have to promise to do it. I'm not telling you till you do... and if you don't I'm gonna give the SWA those pictures I took of you last week at the hot springs…" She looked towards the ceiling, quite pleased with herself. And once again, Hitsugaya turned red. Matsumoto laughed.

"Hahaha! Now you're my little ichigo shotike-ki!" _**(A/N Strawberry shortcake, BTW)**_

"MATSUMOTOO!" He lunged, but was stopped when a box was smashed into his face. Matsumoto had whipped it out from behind her back.

"Look what I found in Ichigo-Taicho's kitchen!" Hitsugaya rubbed his face and examined the box. It had a picture of a little girl licking a chocolate covered spoon with a perfectly made batch of brownies complete with icing and sprinkles. The smell of it alone made Hitsugaya's insides flip with excitement and anticipation. He straightened up and tried to cover up his face first head smash.

"Why were you in the 5th's kitchens?"

"It doesn't matter! I wanted to explore the world of human food! I found lots of chocolate bottles shaped like men, and even more whipped cream. It seems he likes his sweets too." Matsumoto wiggled her eyebrows the way only she could and smiled like a Cheshire cat. She giggled when Hitsugaya turned slightly pink. He knew Ichigo didn't like sweets that much. The only reason he would have those would be…

"Matsumoto, I don't want you going in there anymore. Ever." He shuddered a little bit. Ichigo's lieutenant, Rukia, had better make sure her brother never found out.

"What are we supposed to do with this?" He said changing the subject back to the box, trying to rid himself of those images. He had a very picture-oriented brain.

"This, is what were going to do today." She held the box above her head like it was a treasure they had found after seeking for it for years. Hitsugaya remembered the smell, and he had to decide between finishing the reports, or going to the kitchen with Matsumoto and making brownies, covered in chocolate icing, with sprinkles…

"Well? Please, Taicho…" She blinked her eyes, and clutched the box to her chest. He looked at the box, then the papers on his desk, then back to the box.

His eyes were full of lust as he reached for the box when…

"Omigosh! I'm so sorry, Hitsugaya-taicho, I'll come get the reports later..." Neither of them had heard the door open, and Nanao had come in looking for the daily reports but found something much better. She saw Hitsugaya, his robes a little askew from his tumble off the chair, his face flushed and reaching for Matsumoto's… chest.

"Gaah! Matsumoto! This is your fault!" Said lieutenant was rolling on the floor, laughing her ass off. Her back had been to the door, so Nanao hadn't seen the box. Hitsugaya grabbed the box and stormed off.

"Where are you going, ichigo shotike-ki-chan?" He turned around. He was in the hallway, and his robes billowed around him as he swiveled. He still wanted those brownies.

"To the kitchen, of course." He resumed his course, and smirked to himself. This might actually be fun. _Might._

Matsumoto quickly got up from the floor and ran to catch up with her captain. He could be quick when he wanted to be.

"Really! Yayaya!" She clapped her hands and was jumping circles around Hitsugaya. They reached the kitchen and went to work. While Matsumoto had been gathering bowls from beneath a counter he had placed his haori on the door handle. Since he didn't want to get his black kimono dirty he tied the arms around his waist leaving his chest bare.

"Taicho, do you think these bowls are big enou-?" She turned around and saw her captain. He was ripped! And he looked damn sexy like that… He noticed her staring, and smirked to himself.

"Yah, those should be fine." He thought she would just carry on, and ignore the fact that he wasn't some little kid under the robes. He should've known better. Since he apparently didn't, he turned back to read the directions for the brownie batter and maybe sneak a few sprinkles.

"TAICHO, YOU'RE RIPPED!" He jumped into the air and very nearly landed on top of the fridge. She had snuck up behind him again, like a ninja. He had dropped the box and it and it landed on the floor scattering the sprinkles everywhere.

"Matsumoto! Look what you did!" He was more concerned about the fact that the sprinkles were ruined than he was that Matsumoto had just called him "ripped". She looked to the floor.

"Oh, sorry about that, shotike-ki."

"And stop calling me that! It's getting annoying! It's Hit-"

"Yahyah, _'That's Hitsugaya-taicho to you!' _I know, I know! Your nickname is so cute though…" She put her hands on her hips and did a rather impressive impression of Hitsugaya. He did not find it very impressive. Again, though, he was more concerned about the sprinkles.

"Now what are we going to do…" He was thoughtful, but Matsumoto ignored it and continued to pull various items from the fridge.

"We'll get more. For now let's get working on the brownies!" For the next intense and complicated twenty minutes captain and lieutenant had successfully their first batch of brownies. The time had been filled with the occasional '_pass the milk_', '_not so much sugar, taicho!'_, and '_No Matsumoto! You can't put cheese in brownies!' _Matsumoto had been taking cooking lessons from a human friend which did help with the execution, but not the choosing of ingredients. Multiple times she tried to sneak cheese into the batter, and a few times she attempted adding sake to 'loosen it up' to which Hitsugaya said "It's batter. Not a stick-up-his-ass captain." He was referring to the multiple times she had tried to get him to go the bar. She tried doing what Shunsui did and sitting at his door, but she got bored too easily. It worked for the rugged captain, and now the two were a 'thing'. But the impatient and flaky vice-captain decided there had to be an easier way. Enter brownies.

"Are we done yet?" Hitsugaya was resting against the countertop, which was covered in milk, flour, and whatever chocolate he didn't manage to save. He was tired, but Matsumoto was still going strong.

"Nope. We still have to make the icing, and then go find some sprinkles." She held up the package of icing and Hitsugaya plopped his head back onto the counter.

"How about you do that, while I go ask Ukitake-taicho if he has any?" He pushed himself up, then after Matsumoto said he had ten minutes before she came after him, left. He made his way to the 12th division on a mission. His brownies needed sprinkles!

"Come in." He entered Ukitake-taicho's office.

"Good Afternoon, Ukitake-taicho. I was wondering if you had any chocolate sprinkled for me to borrow." Only a few people knew about Hitsugaya's love for sweets, and Ukitake was one of them. He looked up from his work, and his face went from smiling to shocked. Hitsugaya was confused, till he looked down at himself. He hadn't changed! Here he was, standing in Ukitake's office, half-naked and covered in chocolate. And to top it off, he just asked for chocolate sprinkles! Ukitake's face changed again to knowing, and smug.

"Nonono! It's not what you think!" Ukitake just smiled and handed him a bottle of sprinkles from his desk drawer. He wondered what he would be doing with sprinkles, and by the smell of it many other sugary sweet things, in his desk. Then decided he didn't want to know.

"Whatever you say, Hitsugaya-taicho." He winked at him, and looked back to his papers. Instead of arguing with him, he just left and shun-poed back to his kitchen.

When he returned he forgot all about his encounter with Ukitake-taicho. He could smell the chocolately goodness waiting for him. He opened the door and found that the brownies had been brought out and generously covered with icing. Matsumoto had had a good idea. He didn't say anything when he went in, he could only inhale and exhale with a involuntary moan.

Matsumoto had found that moan really sexy, and it caught her off guard. She hadn't heard him come in; apparently he could be like a ninja too. He placed the sprinkles on top, and they stared at the dish like it was a newborn baby. Hitsugaya's eyes were full of lust, and wonder. Matsumoto, though, was staring at him. He really was something…

"What are you staring at?" His face returned to his usual scowl, and she hadn't noticed that he had looked up. She was snapped out of her state of mind.

"Your cute little face!" She grabbed his cheeks, and covered up her blunder.

"Matsumoto! Can we please just, eat it?" He swatted he hands away. She smiled at him, and he smiled back. At the same moment they both dug in. Literally.

There was brownies flying everywhere, but somehow every piece landed in either their mouths or somewhere near it. After a few minutes of engorging themselves on the actually quite delicious brownie, they leaned back and sighed in unison. They placed a hand on their belly, and each let out a slight burp. They looked at each other, and started laughing. It was contagious, and they couldn't stop. Soon they ran out of breath, and the events of the day began to wear on them. They said goodnight to each other and promised to do it again sometime soon. And for the first time in his life, Hitsugaya left the reports unfinished and went to bed.

Nanao and Ukitake stood just outside, smiling to each other with a knowing look.

"Ready to go to Shunsui's?"

"Yes. Did you remember the rope?"

"Yes. Did you remember the fan?"

"Of course."

**Haha I couldn't help but throw that last part in. Are you happy 'Kakashi's Bitch'? I wrote a pairing you liked and a threesome. So you sure as hell better review. As for the rest of you lurkers, you should review too.**


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